Food. Does not. Dock!
Mar. 17th, 2004 08:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zdashamberIn time for St. Patrick's Day, more silly lyrics:
When I find myself in times of trouble,
Denis Leary comes to me;
Speaking words of wisdom,
Shut the fuck up.
But I--
Shut the fuck up!
I don't feel so--
Shut the fuck up!
He made me feel so much better about myself, you know? He just told me to shut the fuck up and nobody had ever told me that before. I feel so much better now.
Or as we sometimes say in my gaming group, "Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up."
I'm going to hell for that bit. And you're all coming with me! And don't try to get out of it, "We didn't laugh at that bit, Jesus, please!" "Shut up! Get on the bus with Leary and Scorsese. You're going right to fucking hell!" And you know what hell is folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing Shadow Dancing for eons and eons. And you have to wear orange plaid bell bottoms and sit next to the Bay City Rollers. "How you guys doing? This is gonna suck!"
Seriously. This stuff is an Ecclesiastes-like source of comfort for me.
"I'm just not happy. I'm just not happy. I'm just not happy because my life didn't turn out the way I thought it would." Hey! Join the fucking club, ok!? I thought I was going to be the starting center fielder for the Boston Red Socks. Life sucks, get a fucking helmet, allright?! "I'm not happy. I'm not happy." Nobody's happy, ok!? Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette, or a chocolate cookie, or a five second orgasm. That's it, ok! You come, you eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you go to sleep, you get up in the morning and go to fucking work, ok!? That is it! End of fucking list!
I think No Cure for Cancer was the first tape I ever bought... One of the two hot Irish brothers in the drama club was singing the "Traditional Irish Folk Song" in the scene shop, and I asked him where it came from, and walked down to the Sam Goody store near the mall... It kind of shocked me at first, but I had to admit, it was fucking hilarious.
Did you hear about Jim Henson's funeral? Here in New York City, huh? Kermit the frog and Big Bird sang "It's not easy being green" at Jim Henson's funeral. If I'm fifty-six years old when I kick the bucket and a fucking sock is singing at my funeral, I'm gonna pop out of the coffin and go, "Hey! What the hell is this about? Sammy Davis Jr. gets Frank Sinatra, and I get a fucking sock!? I'm really pissed off now!"
I wonder if there are people who don't get Denis Leary, who would think he's got something against the Muppets, or Keith Richards, or cows. I suspect they exist... People who can't figure out that just because he's poking fun, and swearing, doesn't mean they don't have a place in his heart. I probably shouldn't make "could appreciate Denis Leary" a litmus test in my life, but... Hell, it might have saved me some trouble.
I love NyQuil. Man, I love it! I love it. I love it. I love it. It's the best shit ever invented. Isn't it, huh? I love the name alone. NyQuil - Capitol N, small Y, big fucking Q! I love that fucking Q, don't you!? What a great advertising idea! Put a huge fucking Q on the box. They'll get high and stare at it. "The Q is talking to me! The Q is talking to me!"
What would my life have been without Denis Leary? A damn sight poorer, that's what.
I'm high as a kite and my teeth are green. Merry fucking Christmas!
Merry fucking St. Patrick's Day! :D
When I find myself in times of trouble,
Denis Leary comes to me;
Speaking words of wisdom,
Shut the fuck up.
But I--
Shut the fuck up!
I don't feel so--
Shut the fuck up!
He made me feel so much better about myself, you know? He just told me to shut the fuck up and nobody had ever told me that before. I feel so much better now.
Or as we sometimes say in my gaming group, "Sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up."
I'm going to hell for that bit. And you're all coming with me! And don't try to get out of it, "We didn't laugh at that bit, Jesus, please!" "Shut up! Get on the bus with Leary and Scorsese. You're going right to fucking hell!" And you know what hell is folks. It's Andy Gibb, singing Shadow Dancing for eons and eons. And you have to wear orange plaid bell bottoms and sit next to the Bay City Rollers. "How you guys doing? This is gonna suck!"
Seriously. This stuff is an Ecclesiastes-like source of comfort for me.
"I'm just not happy. I'm just not happy. I'm just not happy because my life didn't turn out the way I thought it would." Hey! Join the fucking club, ok!? I thought I was going to be the starting center fielder for the Boston Red Socks. Life sucks, get a fucking helmet, allright?! "I'm not happy. I'm not happy." Nobody's happy, ok!? Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette, or a chocolate cookie, or a five second orgasm. That's it, ok! You come, you eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you go to sleep, you get up in the morning and go to fucking work, ok!? That is it! End of fucking list!
I think No Cure for Cancer was the first tape I ever bought... One of the two hot Irish brothers in the drama club was singing the "Traditional Irish Folk Song" in the scene shop, and I asked him where it came from, and walked down to the Sam Goody store near the mall... It kind of shocked me at first, but I had to admit, it was fucking hilarious.
Did you hear about Jim Henson's funeral? Here in New York City, huh? Kermit the frog and Big Bird sang "It's not easy being green" at Jim Henson's funeral. If I'm fifty-six years old when I kick the bucket and a fucking sock is singing at my funeral, I'm gonna pop out of the coffin and go, "Hey! What the hell is this about? Sammy Davis Jr. gets Frank Sinatra, and I get a fucking sock!? I'm really pissed off now!"
I wonder if there are people who don't get Denis Leary, who would think he's got something against the Muppets, or Keith Richards, or cows. I suspect they exist... People who can't figure out that just because he's poking fun, and swearing, doesn't mean they don't have a place in his heart. I probably shouldn't make "could appreciate Denis Leary" a litmus test in my life, but... Hell, it might have saved me some trouble.
I love NyQuil. Man, I love it! I love it. I love it. I love it. It's the best shit ever invented. Isn't it, huh? I love the name alone. NyQuil - Capitol N, small Y, big fucking Q! I love that fucking Q, don't you!? What a great advertising idea! Put a huge fucking Q on the box. They'll get high and stare at it. "The Q is talking to me! The Q is talking to me!"
What would my life have been without Denis Leary? A damn sight poorer, that's what.
I'm high as a kite and my teeth are green. Merry fucking Christmas!
Merry fucking St. Patrick's Day! :D
no subject
Date: 2004-03-18 10:37 am (UTC)Denis Leary is also a god. Hmm, I should start a new meme...put together your own personal pantheon! I've got a good start on mine already:
Denis Leary: God of Amusing Obnoxiousness
Alan Rickman: God of Sexy Aristocratic Britishness
Jeff Goldblum: God of Quirky Intellectual Heroism
[Toodles off to add to list...]