Assassin's Apprentice... I had never even heard of Hobb or this series until I was fucking around on r/Fantasy (don't judge), where I saw it listed as a piece of "literary fantasy." I didn't have high expectations going in. Not only was I trying a book recommended by total strangers, I'm not that into epic fantasy.

But I largely had a good time?? Hobb's emotional beats DID get me. I got gotten. The pacing is slow, but I was always stressed and happy and sad and moved when she wanted me to be, and her prose is stronger than readable. There aren't many women, but they're all people, and I did love them, from Patience, his weird and mean sort-of-stepmom who has ADHD to Selene, girl who responds to brainwashing by being brainwashed.

In fact, everyone who is remotely on Fitz's side is interesting, even though--or even because!--most of them hurt or disappoint him. Actually, that's not fair. They're frequently legitimately interesting on their own, outside of how they hurt Fitz. Molly, I love you. Burrichs, you gave [spoilers] an earring?

I read a reddit post that complained about Fitz being pummeled continuously by the narrative, and it made me worried that this would be a wet cat hurt/comfort thing. This was concerning, since I'd recently read Lackey's Magic's Pawn for the first time and found the experience repulsive. But it's not! Fitz absolutely is pummeled, but people don't magically become nicer to him. Thank god.

Obviously, preferring pummeling to comfort is a wildly personal preference I don't have to discuss with anyone but my therapist, but I think there's something in that--in that the interiorities of the other characters don't respond magically to Fitz's own--that has to be why I liked this book as well as I did, even though, in broad strokes, I thought the plot was pretty stupid?

For indeed, I found many things about the book very Funny On Accident and/or Frustrating:

Shortly after beginning the novel, I found out from multiple friends that Hobb is famous for her homophobic and anti-fanfiction blog posts. I tried not to look them up, but of course I did. Damn, girl! It's a violence to imagine Fitz is gay? Girl you gave him the homosexuality allegory where being a Disney Princess means you're wrong inside. YOU CALLED IT A PERVERSION, AND YOU ALSO GAVE IT TO THE MOST REPRESSED MAN I'VE READ IN AGES WHO LITERALLY TELLS FITZ "well you can have the urges just don't act on them" GIRL????? Funny as hell. Robin I'm very sorry you can't read but the text called, and it told me they're gay
The Forged Ones are video game antagonists. She pretends that they say something about What It Means To Be Human, but they don't... they're off-screen mobs... Every time she tried to get some sort of aphoristic proclamation out of them I had to close the book and complain to Becca or Kirby. There's ALSO this weird moment where Molly experiences profound grief, and Fitz is like "she disappeared from my senses... like she was a Forged One...." Robin I understand that you're trying to say something about the self-annihilation experienced in extreme grief, but I think "strong grief makes you inhuman" is not what you meant? Please be careful with metaphors.
i cannot believe how much shrewd has to carry the idiot ball through the back half. i'm a great, astute leader! i love buying necklaces for my son with money we could use to defend the towns. ROBIN I LITERALLY DONT BELIEVE YOU. I READ THE FIRST 200 PAGES AND I DONT BELIEVE YOU
Royal is also boring. She will KEEP telling us that he's good at shit, but it's all off-screen, so mostly we see him do mean girlisms. again: i don't believe you
actually all the villains are boring. what do they want? idk. to rule??? Galen the cult leader is almost interesting, but honestly his hate hard-on for Fitz is so protagonist-coded it's also boring. why is she sooo bad at showing-not-telling her antagonists when she's so good at it for everyone else
Speaking of Galen, we WILL be weird about bodies. We are inventing new ways to be weird about bodies so you can know this skinny man is evil
there is ONE naming scheme in this world. things are named what they are. warm bay. nailed it

Also some of her metaphors were like, please let me line edit for you, that is NOT what you meant. But whatever. Maybe her villains will get better! I know the FitzFool stuff gets insane. I'm not committing to the whole sixteen books, but I'll read the next one, eventually. No rush!

james_davis_nicoll

A detail about the 2017 Hugo nomination long list I've never noticed before:

I checked and I did notice at the time James Nicoll Reviews was treated as different from me, but I seem to have failed to correct the typo for a decade.

oursin

I, being a historian of reproduction and birth control, not to mention Ye Loathsome Diseases Consequent Upon Immoralitee, was more than a little irked by this article in The Guardian yesterday bigging up the French tradition of being 'family-friendly', mentioning

[T]he many ways the French state already supports families: heavily subsidised creches and childminders, free school for everyone from the age of three and structured holiday clubs that remove many of the headaches working parents face in many other countries.

Though at least there is some indication that this has an agenda of More Babbiez.

And, not mentioned, is part of a very long tradition of French pro-natalism which included the criminalising of birth control and abortion for decades and the persecution of the French neo-Malthusian movement.

I will note that we prudish hypocritical Brits managed to get a birth control movement off the ground and a significant number of clinics running in the first half of the twentieth century; not to mention a successful strategy for the control of STIs which involved a network of free confidential government-funded clinics when Les Francaises were still leaning heavily on the regulation of sex workers (even after massive improvements in the detection and treatment of syph and clap). Which must have had some negative impact on population fertility....

Ooolala?

I also discovered today - goodness knows we get regular reports of various manifestations of the sexual entitlement of the French bloke - France moves to abolish concept of marital duty to have sex:

For campaigners, the notion that wives have a "duty" to agree to sex with their husbands is one that persists in parts of society and needs to be confronted.
....
Since November last year the legal definition of rape in France has also been expanded to include the notion of non-consent.
Previously, rape was defined as a sexual act carried out with "violence, constraint, threat or surprise". Now it is any act where there is no "informed, specific, anterior and revocable" consent. Silence or an absence of reaction do not imply consent, the law says.

siria

( The Pitt, 2.04, 10A.M. )

( Shot )

james_davis_nicoll

A young man sets out to reinvent himself, far from home.

The First Thousand Trees (Annual Migration of Clouds, volume 3) by Premee Mohamed

oursin

Happy birthday,

batwrangler,

dewline and

elij_0650!

smartbitches_feed

Posted by Amanda

https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/2026/01/dukes-vampires-more/

https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/?p=165714

A Dreadful Splendor

RECOMMENDED: A Dreadful Splendor by B.R. Myers is $1.99! Lara gave this an A in a Lightning Review:

If you want an immersive reading experience that will absolutely result in a Bad Decisions Book Club event, then this book is for you. Please excuse me while I go read it again.

In this spectacularly imaginative and ghoulishly fun Gothic murder mystery brimming with romance, betrayals, and chills, a fake spiritualist is summoned to hold a séance for a bride who died on the eve before her wedding, but as nefarious secrets are revealed, the line between hoax and haunting blurs.

Be careful what you conjure…

In Victorian London, Genevieve Timmons poses as a spiritualist to swindle wealthy mourners–until one misstep lands her in a jail cell awaiting the noose. Then a stranger arrives to make her a peculiar offer. The Lord he serves, Mr. Pemberton, has been inconsolable since the tragic death of his beautiful bride-to-be. If Genevieve can perform a séance persuasive enough to bring the young Lord peace, she will win her freedom.

Soothing a grieving nobleman should be easy for someone of Genevieve’s skill, but when she arrives at the grand Somerset Park estate, Mr. Pemberton is not the heartbroken lover she expected. The surly–yet exceedingly handsome–gentleman is certain that his fiancée was murdered, even though there is no evidence. Only a confession can bring justice now, and Mr. Pemberton decides Genevieve will help him get it. With his knowledge of the household and her talent for illusion, they can stage a haunting so convincing it will coax the killer into the light. However, when frightful incidents befall the manor, Genevieve realizes her tricks aren’t required after all. She may be a fake, but Somerset’s ghost could be all too real…

A Dreadful Splendor is a wickedly whimsical brew of mystery, spooky thrills, and intoxicating romance that makes for an irresistibly fun and page-turning read.

Add to Goodreads To-Read List →

You can find ordering info for this book here.

The Duke Gets Desperate

The Duke Gets Desperate by Diana Quincy is $1.99! This is book one in a series. There are renovation elements and enemies to lovers. Have you read this one?

Diana Quincy returns with a steamy affair between an Arab-American woman who inherits a run-down castle in the English countryside and the duke who asserts the castle is his, in the first book in a brand-new Victorian historical romance series.

Anthony Cary, Duke of Strickland, inherits his spendthrift father’s title and can finally restore the family castle to its former glory. But at the reading of the will, Strick is stunned to learn that his father has secretly disentailed him, leaving the family manor–home to twelve generations of dukes–to Strick’s American stepmother. Everyone knows Strick detests the dowager duchess, and when she dies mysteriously, damning rumors start to surface.

When Raya Darwish unexpectedly inherits her glamorous late cousin’s castle in the English countryside, she clashes with the charismatic young duke who insists the castle is rightfully his. The estate is practically bankrupt, so she must find a way to work with the duke in order to save both of their futures.

The two cannot stand each other, but mutual disdain soon gives way to desire. When questions arise about how her cousin died, Raya cannot help wondering if Strick’s sudden unbridled passion for her is part of a scheme to get his castle back…

Add to Goodreads To-Read List →

You can find ordering info for this book here.

You’re the Duke That I Want

You’re the Duke That I Want by Lenora Bell is $1.99! I mentioned this one in December 2023’s Hide Your Wallet because I felt like the Bitchery needed to know that a historical romance based on Grease exists. This is book one in the Thunderbolt Club series.

USA Today bestseller Lenora Bell returns with a Grease-inspired rom-com about an innocent lady who clashes with a sexy rake, the first book in a brand-new series sure to delight fans of Sarah MacLean, Tessa Dare, and Julia Quinn.

Raised by an overprotective mother, bookish romantic Sandrine Oliver craves adventure, but nothing exciting ever happens in her sleepy seaside village. Until a handsome, mysterious stranger arrives and sweeps her off her feet…only to leave suddenly with no explanation.

Lord Dane Walker, brother to the Duke of Rydell, is infamous for racing fast carriages and breaking hearts. But when his brother is mortally injured, Dane inherits the responsibilities of the dukedom—duties that come with a dangerous secret which threatens everyone close to him.

In London, Sandrine is astonished to learn that the charming, honorable man she met at the beach is really a disreputable rake. And the infuriating nobleman acts as though he barely knows her.

Who needs a wild rake? Certainly not Sandrine! With a little help from her friends, she transforms into a glamorous belle. She’s out to make Dane pay…but can she stop her traitorous heart from longing to surrender only to him?

Add to Goodreads To-Read List →

You can find ordering info for this book here.

Silver Under Nightfall

Silver Under Nightfall by Rin Chupeco is $1.99! This is a horror mystery, I’d say, with a queer, poly romantic subplot. I know that descriptor will perk someone’s ears right up!

Full of court intrigue, queer romance, and terrifying monsters—this gothic epic fantasy will appeal to fans of Samantha Shannon’s The Priory of the Orange Tree and the adult animated series Castlevania.

Remy Pendergast is many things: the only son of the Duke of Valenbonne (though his father might wish otherwise), an elite bounty hunter of rogue vampires, and an outcast among his fellow Reapers. His mother was the subject of gossip even before she eloped with a vampire, giving rise to the rumors that Remy is half-vampire himself. Though the kingdom of Aluria barely tolerates him, Remy’s father has been shaping him into a weapon to fight for the kingdom at any cost.

When a terrifying new breed of vampire is sighted outside of the city, Remy prepares to investigate alone. But then he encounters the shockingly warmhearted vampire heiress Xiaodan Song and her infuriatingly arrogant fiancé, vampire lord Zidan Malekh, who may hold the key to defeating the creatures—though he knows associating with them won’t do his reputation any favors. When he’s offered a spot alongside them to find the truth about the mutating virus Rot that’s plaguing the kingdom, Remy faces a choice.

It’s one he’s certain he’ll regret.

But as the three face dangerous hardships during their journey, Remy develops fond and complicated feelings for the couple. He begins to question what he holds true about vampires, as well as the story behind his own family legacy. As the Rot continues to spread across the kingdom, Remy must decide where his loyalties lie: with his father and the kingdom he’s been trained all his life to defend or the vampires who might just be the death of him.

Add to Goodreads To-Read List →

You can find ordering info for this book here.

https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/2026/01/dukes-vampires-more/

https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/?p=165714

blotthis

So. Nicola Griffith's Spear! (I am writing these up in order requested; I know it doesn't seem so, but some people were too lazy to login to DW and leave a comment. No comment.)

I didn't like this book (a retelling of Percival's story in which he is a young woman) very much, and reading the author's notes (and part of an interview) made me like it even less. I may be especially mad about this because I'd been somewhat excited about it. But let's start with things I appreciated.

Griffith did scads of research on the materiality of early medieval Wales, and it shows. The novella knows how long it would take to get from point A to point B via different kinds of transportation; what kind of tools would be available to different communities; the differences between weapons; what livestock would be where, and what they'd use them for, and so on. There's a thingyness to the world. Those things are made of stuff. Real stuff. Peretur, a child who grew up in a cave, is keenly aware of what materials she has access to and which she doesn't, and she admires leather and metalwork accordingly. I appreciated this, and I appreciated it even more after reading The Lioness and Her Knight, but more on that later. Sometimes it's a bit overdone--there's a moment where Peretur thinks, "wow! stirrups!" and it seemed less important to the scene or to Peretur's character than to prove that In This Particular Time, stirrups were new (sort of). But it's still fun. I value getting outside of our materiality.

I also found it largely very easy to read, which is good, because it's not very long and it being hard to finish around 100 pages would be a bad sign, but it did take until Peretur started talking to other people for that feeling to pick up. At least for me. But! It's a fine book, with above-average research, and I think it could be a fine day's reading.

( But. )

aurumcalendula

January 29 - 'If you could play only one instrument brilliantly, what would you choose? (If you're already brilliant at playing an instrument tell me another one you'd like to master).' for

corvidology:

( Read more... )

(there are still slots open for the January Talking Meme here)

questionable_content_feed

http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=5755

aurumcalendula

I just realized Girl Scout Cookies are available to order online! I might pick up a few more boxes when the Girl Scouts are selling them in person in a few months.

hannah

Challenge #14

In your own space, create a promo and/or rec list for someone new to a fandom. Leave a comment in this post saying you did it and include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

You've probably heard of Top Gun at this point. Yes, you - the generic you, the one reading this post right now. I'd be more surprised if it hasn't come up at this point, given the cultural footprint the movies hold, to the point that the first one was considered significant enough to be included in the Library of Congress' National Film Registry and the second one played in movie theaters for over six months in a time when that's practically unthinkable because people kept buying tickets. But maybe you haven't seen it. No shame in that. Maybe you know it's not for you. I can't speak to your tastes. Then again, maybe you're not sure. Maybe you need some enticement. Maybe you need to be told that it's more or less American live-action anime, down to having beach episodes. Maybe you need more than that.

Might I offer a homoerotic volleyball montage, voted "best movie scene" three years in a row by Suck magazine, a fact that made the director tremendously proud?

What about Val Kilmer snapping his teeth at Tom Cruise, a moment he confirmed was improvised?

How about one actor sneaking porn onto set and playing it during a scene, creating the conditions for someone to say "This gives me a hard on" and for someone else to respond "Don't tease me" and for that moment to be included in the final cut?

Were you aware that the first movie's aesthetic was largely inspired by Bruce Weber, noted gay photographer?

How about that for all its endorsement by the US military, it manages to be astonishingly gay by 1986 and contemporary standards, with Kilmer himself being the first Iceman/Maverick shipper?

Would it please you to know that between Top Gun Maverick and the Mission Impossible movies, combined with all the cumulative explosions from his movies, Tom Cruise qualifies as a Dekahelen?

Possibly you'd enjoy knowing that the sequel is a surprisingly somber meditation on aging, loss, regret, and reconciliation in addition to all the thrills of the practical stuntwork?

Or that together, both movies total just over four hours' runtime so it's not even a big commitment, and that all four of those hours are full of beautifully composed scenes and shots?

Maybe you've made up your mind a while ago. I'm cool with that. But if you haven't and you're willing to give it a shot, drop me a line and I can hook you up, no streaming services required.

two log cabins with snow on the roofs in a wintery forest the text snowflake challenge january 1 - 31 in white cursive text

Current Mood: giggly
Current Music: nothing now

sweetsorcery

( You're about to view content that the journal owner has marked as possibly inappropriate for anyone under the age of 18. )

Current Mood: contemplative

musesfool

As a post-Christmas treat, I bought myself this Emile Henry dutch oven and the instructions say to boil milk in it (and then clean it out) before using it the first time? I've never heard of that, but my other dutch ovens are enameled cast iron, not ceramic. Has anyone heard of this/done this?

anyway, mainly I bought it because I want to try this no-knead everything bread but didn't want to deal with my 6 qt cast iron dutch oven, which is extremely heavy and also tucked away in a closet somewhere. My plan is to mix it up tomorrow after work since it needs an on-the-counter overnight rise, and then bake it Saturday morning. We'll see how it goes!

I might also make garlic and bread soup again this weekend, and also maybe some version of citrus and soy noodles (it's a ramen recipe but I'm just going to use angel hair instead since I already have it) for dinner tomorrow. Oh, and those orange cranberry scones again - the cranberries are still taking up too much room in my freezer and must be used up!

*

Current Mood: tired
Current Music: Golden - Huntr/x

senmut

kalloway, I agree! SPRING TIME NOW!

trobadora

Turns out I do have a cold! But my next exchange deadline is on Saturday.

Today's writing

Writing! Wrangling! All of that. I'll get there ...

Tally

( Days 1-25 )

Day 26:

badly_knitted,

brithistorian,

carenejeans,

china_shop,

cornerofmadness,

goddess47,

luzula,

sanguinity,

shadaras,

sylvanwitch,

the_siobhan,

trobadora,

ysilme

Day 27:

badly_knitted,

brithistorian,

carenejeans,

china_shop,

cornerofmadness,

goddess47,

luzula,

sanguinity,

shadaras,

sylvanwitch,

the_siobhan,

trobadora,

ysilme

Day 28:

badly_knitted,

brithistorian,

china_shop,

cornerofmadness,

goddess47,

luzula,

sanguinity,

sylvanwitch,

trobadora,

ysilme

Day 29:

trobadora

Let me know if I missed anyone! And remember you can drop in or out at any time. :)

scioscribe

Thank you so much for creating something for me! I'd be delighted to receive anything for any of these requests.

I have gifts enabled, and treats are very welcome!

I'm

scioscribe on AO3 and

scioscribe on Tumblr.

All requests this year are for fic.

( Likes )

( General Casefic Likes )

( General Sex Likes/Kinks )

( DNW )

( Knives Out )

( Andor )

( The Pitt )

conuly

and every day when E leaves she bolts up to my room and burrows under my covers for a few hours until she feels prepared to cope with the day.

******************************

( Read more... )

smartbitches_feed

Posted by SB Sarah

https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/podcast/703-oscars-and-gossip-with-kayleigh-donaldson/

https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/?post_type=podcast&p=165699

Kayleigh Donaldson is back! She is the guest on some of the most popular episodes, and I know what that is: she’s brilliant. We recorded this just before the Oscar nominations were announced, so Kayleigh is making (some pretty accurate!) predictions about Oscar nominations, and explaining what makes this year’s group of films so interesting.

Along the way we also talk about vintage Hollywood gossip, character actors who go weird gremlin, and the way actors shape public narrative with their project choices, their fashion, and their cosmetic procedures. And also – Scotland made the World Cup – woohoo!

I love talking to people who think about their favorite aspects of popular culture the way I think about romance fiction, and I already know you love when Kayleigh is a guest. Don’t worry, she will be back.

Technical note: we had some connectivity issues and delay during the recording, so I don’t have a full video episode for this one, though I do have clips, so watch for them on social media. You might hear some muddy audio, and I apologize. Please know I did all the things I could.

CW/TW: At about 2 minutes in, we talk about Elizabeth Taylor’s abusive first husband. We also talk about body and beauty standards in Hollywood.

Listen to the podcast →

Read the transcript →

You can find Kayleigh Donaldson at her website, KayleighDonaldson.com, on Bluesky, and on Pajiba.com. You can also sign up for her (excellent) newsletter, Gossip Reading Club.

We also mentioned:

The New Yorker: “Amanda Seyfried’s Epiphanies”
Reddit: Sydney Sweeney and Scooter Braun in Central Park
Reddit: Sydney Sweeney and Christy Martin in Sports Illustrated
Tom and Lorenzo: Sydney Sweeney’s hair on Jimmy Fallon
The New York Times: Dr. Tressie McMillan Cottom on the “Enduring Invisible Power of Blondeness” (Archive link)
The Wrap: Kayleigh reviews All’s Fair
The List: Bradley Cooper’s Face and Resulting Rumors
The Wall Street Journal: Club Chalamet/Simone Cromer profile
Wikipedia: The Leveson Inquiry

Patreon folks, you have an extended episode inside your Patreon feed with a whole extra hour of discussion about the Beckhams, the industry of celebrity children, and more.

If you like the podcast, you can subscribe to our feed, or find us at iTunes. You can also find us on Stitcher, and Spotify, too. We also have a cool page for the podcast on iTunes.

More ways to sponsor:

Sponsor us through Patreon! (What is Patreon?)

What did you think of today's episode? Got ideas? Suggestions? You can talk to us on the blog entries for the podcast or talk to us on Facebook if that's where you hang out online. You can email us at sbjpodcast@gmail.com or you can call and leave us a message at our Google voice number: 201-371-3272. Please don't forget to give us a name and where you're calling from so we can work your message into an upcoming podcast.

Thanks for listening!

Remember to subscribe to our podcast feed, find us on iTunes or on Stitcher.

https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/podcast/703-oscars-and-gossip-with-kayleigh-donaldson/

https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/?post_type=podcast&p=165699

muccamukk

Latest entry in the currently flourishing protest song genre:

Watch on YouTube

What? Were you expecting Springsteen?

smartbitches_feed

Posted by Amanda

https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/2026/01/magical-nannies-tessa-bailey-more/

https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/?p=165645

How to Tame a Wild Rogue

RECOMMENDED: How to Tame a Wild Rogue by Julie Anne Long is $1.99! This made our Best of Reviews 2023 list at number five. There are also many of Long’s books ons ale, including book one, Perils of Pleasure, in her Pennyroyal Green series. Lara gave this a Squee grade:

This book made me swoon IRL. Reading it was a fever dream and not just because of the sex scenes. I was so immersed in it that the real world and its troubles didn’t even occur to me for the duration of the book. (I am anxious by nature, so this is a feat.)

In USA Today bestselling author Julie Anne Long’s thrilling new romance in the Palace of Rogues series, an infamous privateer’s limits are put to the test when he’s trapped during a raging tempest with a prickly female at the Grand Palace on the Thames.

He clawed his way up from the gutters of St. Giles to the top of a shadowy empire. Feared and fearsome, battered and brilliant, nothing shocks Lorcan St. Leger—not even the discovery of an aristocratic woman escaping out a window near the London docks on the eve of the storm of the decade. They find shelter at a boarding house called the Grand Palace on the Thames—only to find greater dangers await inside.

Desperate, destitute, and jilted, Lady Daphne Worth knows the clock is ticking on her last chance to save herself and her family: an offer of a loveless marriage. But while the storm rages and roads flood, she and the rogue who rescued her must pose as husband and wife in order to share the only available suite.

Crackling enmity gives way to incendiary desire—and certain heartbreak: Lorcan is everything she never dreamed she’d wanted, but he can never be what she needs. But risk is child’s play to St. Leger. And if the stakes are a lifetime of loving and being loved by Daphne, he’ll move any mountain, confront any old nemesis, to turn “never” into forever.

Add to Goodreads To-Read List →

You can find ordering info for this book here.

The Nanny’s Handbook to Magic and Managing Difficult Dukes

The Nanny’s Handbook to Magic and Managing Difficult Dukes by Amy Rose Bennett is $1.99! This is book one in the Parasol Academy series, which is historical fantasy romance.

Mary Poppins meets Bridgerton in a feel-good blend of cozy fantasy magic, historical romance, humor, and Victorian era charm, as a recent graduate of the Parasol Academy for Exceptional Nannies and Governesses finds her supernatural abilities are little help when it comes to falling for the shy, mysterious inventor who happens to be her employer . . .

For readers of Heather Fawcett, Allison Saft, Katherine Arden, Freya Marske, and Olivia Atwater’s Regency Faerie Tales series.

Emmeline Chase, 25-year-old widow and new alumna, may be more high-spirited than the Academy would like. Few graduates, however, could turn a mismanaged teleportation onto a duke’s rooftop into an offer of employment. But Emmeline’s circumstances, along with her desperation to support her bankrupt, incarcerated father, have made her dauntless. Which seems the primary qualification to work for expert horologist Xavier Mason, Duke of St. Lawrence, and manage his three rambunctious wards. Yet Emmeline soon discovers that the nobleman’s heart-melting voice and captivating mind present an entirely different sort of trouble. She cannot risk losing her license by fraternizing with her employer . . .

Xavier’s wards have sent two nannies packing in a month thanks to frogs, firecrackers, and general mayhem. In addition, Xavier’s professional reputation is on the line. He’s already considered odd, with his talking raven companion and his fascination with timekeeping instead of pleasure-chasing with his peers. Charming, vivacious Emmeline seems intrigued with his quirks—but Xavier must have absolute peace to design London’s “King of Clocks” for Westminster Palace before the competition closes. Emmeline can no doubt restore order. As long as he doesn’t fall under her spell . . .

Yet, with a possible saboteur in their midst, and the attraction flaring between them threatening to become a deliciously disastrous distraction, a touch of magic may be required . . .

Add to Goodreads To-Read List →

You can find ordering info for this book here.

Fangirl Down

Fangirl Down by Tessa Bailey is $1.99! This is book one in the Big Shots series and features a golfer, which we don’t often see in sports romance. I think I remember Elyse reading and liking this one (Elyse, please correct me if I’m wrong!). Apologies if this is an expiring KDD.

Wells Whitaker was once golf’s hottest rising star, but lately, all he has to show for his “promising” career is a killer hangover, a collection of broken clubs, and one remaining supporter. No matter how bad he plays, the beautiful, sunny redhead is always on the sidelines. He curses, she cheers. He scowls, she smiles. But when Wells quits in a blaze of glory and his fangirl finally goes home, he knows he made the greatest mistake of his life.

Josephine Doyle believed in the gorgeous, grumpy golfer, even when he didn’t believe in himself. Yet after he throws in the towel, she begins to wonder if her faith was misplaced. Then a determined Wells shows up at her door with a wild proposal: be his new caddy, help him turn his game around, and split the prize money. And considering Josephine’s professional and personal life is in shambles, she could really use the cash…

As they travel together, spending days on the green and nights in neighboring hotel rooms, sparks fly. Before long, they’re inseparable, Wells starts winning again, and Josephine is surprised to find a sweet, thoughtful guy underneath his gruff, growly exterior. This hot man wants to brush her hair, feed her snacks, and take bubble baths together? Is this real life? But Wells is technically her boss and an athlete falling for his fangirl would be ridiculous… right?

Add to Goodreads To-Read List →

You can find ordering info for this book here.

The Off-Limits Rule

The Off-Limits Rule by Sarah Adams is $1.99! This is a contemporary romance between a single and her brother’s best friend. There’s also some forced proximity.

From the New York Times bestselling author of Practice Makes Perfect comes an expanded edition of The Off-Limits Rule—a heartwarming romance about new love and fresh beginnings, with a never-before-seen chapter.

Rules are made to be broken—especially for love, right?

Lucy Marshall has hit rock bottom. After failing to succeed as a single mom in Atlanta, she’s back home and moving in with her older brother, Drew. Reconnecting with her support system is the right thing to do, but Lucy can’t help but feel like a failure. Her four-year-old son deserves the world, and all she can give him is a spare bedroom. But Drew is the sweetest uncle, and some quality time might be exactly what they both need to start fresh. That is until she meets Cooper, her brother’s incredibly hot best friend.

When Drew senses something between the two of them, he puts his foot down on any shenanigans. According to him, Cooper is everything Lucy should stay away flirtatious, adventurous, and especially noncommittal. But Lucy has been getting the opposite impression so far; Cooper is a genuinely great guy, and she’s starting to catch real feelings.

Her whole life, Lucy has tried to do everything right, and look where that’s gotten her—so what if she were to try something wrong?

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https://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/2026/01/magical-nannies-tessa-bailey-more/

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oursin

But hey, after A WEEK I have a new passport! - their website says may take up to three weeks, so I am very impressed with this. Also have the old one back (sent separately). The photo of course strongly resembles a headshot from a C19th volume of an institution for the criminally insane at which the head doc had taken to photography and theories of physiognomy, but don't they always?

***

In the world of spammyity-spam-spam:

Really, I am quite tempted to 'deliver an oral talk' (? as opposed to doing a presentation in the form of interpretative dance?) at the 13th International Congress of Gynaecology and Obstetrics (ICGO-2026 Asia) as it's in Kyoto: 'adorned with early autumn foliage, offering a serene backdrop for academic exchanges, you’ll have the chance to experience traditional tea ceremonies, stroll through ancient bamboo groves, and engage with a city that values both heritage and scientific progress'.

But am not at all tempted (more DESTROY THIS WITH FIRE & EXTREME PREJUDICE) by this solicitation:

Imagine if, instead of being buried in PDFs, your work could answer questions directly, 24/7. Not just to students, but to anyone curious, anywhere in the world.
When corporate companies, grant providers, grad students, journalists ask AI about your field, they get up to date info and not outdated summaries.
Today, your Google Scholar profile just sits there. No one can ask it questions. No one can discover the depth of your work through AI search.
AI is becoming the new search engine for expertise. And academics are invisible.
We built something to fix this. Your own .cv domain. LLM optimized. SEO optimized. Analytics. Branded URLs. Digital Chat Twin.

AAAAARRRGGH.

Ask ME the questions, please. Because, and I quote, 'No one can discover the depth of your work through AI search'. Many a true word.

***

And, in fact, this week has been quite the flurry of that Dr oursin being relevant - apart from query on scholarly listserv which was well in my wheelhouse but had me going 'would be helpful to indicate what reading - apart from google search - you had done before asking for suggestions' -

Request to referee a paper on topic on which I am somewhat reluctantly considered a Nexpert, for journal in an area in which I am not.

Query from researcher about sources for a possible project of theirs.

Invitation to go and talk about the History of 'Engines of Love' (as the condoms found in William Empson's college rooms were described) in connection with an exhibition in the summer.

Have also had agreeable email exchanges with Elderly Antiquarian Bookseller friend.

***

On the downside, printer is acting up, doing both being fussy about toner cartridge AND thinking there's a paper jam in Tray 1. Sigh.

mallorys_camera

The 100-yard electrical relay to the chickens' water has failed again. The extension cords are buried beneath a foot and a half of snow, and I'm not even going to fantasize about digging them out because that would be impossible. I'm just gonna have to haul fresh water out to the chickens every day and hope they can drink enough in the 20 minutes or so before that water freezes—the temps at night have been going down to -7°F (real feel: -15°F) and barely graze 20°F (real feel: 5°F) during the day—not to die of thirst.

I don't know what else to do.

This Arctic front has been brutal. My share of the electric & heating oil bills this month came to $500, and honestly? I don't know how I am gonna pay it. I suppose since I will be out of here come spring (please, please, please, Universe), the smart thing would be to tell Icky to take it out of the rental deposit. I mean, there are certainly many folk I could plead my story to who would be happy to help me out, I suspect, but how humiliating is that? Come rescue me! I can't take care of myself!

If Brian were alive, this would not be an issue. He would give me the money & tell me to shut up when I tried to thank him.

###

In more amusing news, Facebook has decided to give me a professional account because many, many years ago, when I first signed up for FB, I facetiously gave my profession as "Cat News Aggregator" and started a regular posting feature called "Today's Exciting Cat News." Apparently, that little daily posting feature attracts some threshold number of eyeballs. An FB professional account gives one access to all sorts of interesting user-tracking info.

And my Substack attracts more (free) subscribers every day, though it's a long way away from being monetizable.

###

Life is just very stressful right now. A real slog. I remind myself that it won't be that way forever, but one thing about me: I live very fully in the present tense; in fact, Ichabod told me once I was the most existential person he had ever known. When things suck, it's very hard for me to envision a future point in which things will not suck, and that renders mobilizing future options for non-suckitude solely an intellectual exercise. Emotionally, I just want to curl up somewhere & cry.

aurumcalendula

Escapade 36 = February 20 - 22 (vid deadline = Feb 14)
VidUKon = June 5 - 7
World Wide Slash (DC-Slash's new name) = July 17 - 19
Escapade 36.5 (online) = August 7 - 9
Confabulation = October 22 - 25

I think Wiscon (May 21- 25) might have a vidshow, but I haven't seen anything confirmed yet.

james_davis_nicoll

What can be done about Mairilek's obsession with matters beyond male ken?

When Voiha Wakes (House of Kendreth, volume 3) by Joy Chant

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