I should rule

[zdashamber]

My mom is certain that the market will provide... I point out to her that it hasn't provided infinitely-variable windshield wipers. Another thing it hasn't provided, alas, is a decent sized mattress.

I'm 5'6", maaybe 5'6 and a half. A twin mattress, 75", is too damn short. 66" of me, plus about 6" of my feet flopped out straight = 72". Which leaves what for pillow space? Bup kiss, is what.

So maybe you'd think that the next size up would work? That's what I'd think. But noooo. The mattress sizes only stretch out sideways. I could stand a bit more sideways area than the twin's 39", but come on, this is insane. To get to a mattress size that even fits a 5'6" person I have to add nearly two feet more width and get a Queen. What if I wanted to be able to walk through my bedroom?

And 25% of the population is taller than 5'9"!

Anyway, so I'll look for a twin extra long, probably, since I'd rather have living space than sleeping space. I have doubts that I'll find one, though; I gather they're rare. Maybe I'll go back to sleeping diagonally on a Full. Maybe I can figure out how to make a bed so that diagonal sleeping isn't all unbalanced coverwise... Honestly, how does everyone else manage?

Anyway, this is why you should all make me king of the world. I have no interest in interfering with your lives. I will merely require that in addition to current production, some useful, sensible, beautiful things be made. Polishable, formal-looking leather shoes with the underlying cushiness and support of sneakers! Car seats that can be cranked to the exact angle that fits you best! Mattresses that are 48" x 80"! We can call that size the "Madeline."

Comments

[motleypolitico.livejournal.com]

I point out for the sake of the argument, that I did, back with my Mitsubishi Cordia (circa 1985 model year), have infinite adjust windshield wipers. They've existed for quite some time, it's just that nobody cares about them enough to pay for them, so they're not offered on most models.

As for the bed thing, AMEN! It's why I can't sleep on twin beds. At 6'1", they're just nasty.

[zdashamber.livejournal.com]

Word. My '83 Volvo station wagon had the crank seat backs that allowed any angle. The early 80s: a golden age?

[cynthia1960.livejournal.com]

I had an extra long twin bed in my dorm at Santa Clara. But, yes, you should be crowned Queen-Empress of the World. So mote it be!

[zdashamber.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Cal had Twin XLs, too. I picked up the cushiest of eggcrates (foam fingers 3" deep!) to make it sleepable, and that's what I survive on today... The foam drips off the end of my current twin for enough extra length that, combined with flannel sheets, my pillow does not dive for the floor.

[nuadha-prime.livejournal.com]

As someone who is 6'3", you are preaching to the choir Lady Madeline. Matresses where my feet don't constantly sit off the mattress would be wonderful. If you can make it happen, you've got my vote for Queen-Empress of the World.

[zdashamber.livejournal.com]

My dad, 6'2", had to make his own mattress. Even California Kings aren't long enough for him. I think he got a big plank of plywood and added some strips of foam to the end of the largest mattress he could buy...

[(Anonymous)]

I am happy to be dwarfish. I've never even noticed!

Another thing. Bathtubs. Why must they suck so bad?

[zdashamber.livejournal.com]

Damn straight! To take a bath, I have to fold my legs tailor-fashion and then collapse onto my back. If I wasn't a contortionist in my spare time, I wouldn't be able to get but two limbs wet at a time!

[cochese.livejournal.com]

Weird... I'm 6', and I don't think I've ever been dismayed by bed length. I've always been more of a width person meself. I consulted with the wife, and I don't curl up excessively, but I do tend to lie on my side with knees slightly bent, so that may make the difference.

Personally, my gripe is with bathtubs. The only ones that have ever fit me were the ones at the Edgefield.

The wife says that usually only dorms have extra-long mattresses. HOWEVER:

Who da man?

With that you'll need Box Springs and a a frame.

[zdashamber.livejournal.com]

Once I specifically planned out my time so I could take a bath at the Edgefield in a tub I could actually lie in... It was creepy.

Hm... A new thing to mention in advertising (which is to say, mercilessly harassaring everyone I know at every opportunity) the con...

[cochese.livejournal.com]

What was creepy about it? I'm the type of person who likes to soak in water, so I really liked it. The only thing I found creepy was hearing a couple sharing a tub next door. ;)

[zdashamber.livejournal.com]

Well, there was nothing to brace against, so I worried about sliding under the water. Also, there was some Hitchcock movie where the guy wasn't sure if he'd drowned his wife in the tub...?