Get offa my lawn!

[zdashamber]

The Jenny Turpish Slapped Me "Better Apartment" quiz: (Discretion is the better part of squalor)

Your apartment's score is 60.

    Not the greatest part of town, really. Is it a country heartache of a place, with prematurely withered women tucking back mentholated Camel Lights and talking about the man John Law put in jail last night? Or a college backwater, which the bouncing university nubiles have to run through because any distance less than the mile radius it is from campus isn't enough to burn off the lemon gelato they had with lunch?

    It's possible I'm bitter, but you're bitter, too. Rest assured your neighborhood is exactly right for telling pleasant past-tense stories about once your rotting woodwork and yowling neighbors are colored bittersweet with nostalgia.

    And if anyone bounces down your sidewalk, by God, it's your patriotic privilege to watch.

One of these days... Those kids who drive around and around and around and around and around the block on their lawnmower-powered scooters are gonna get hit by one of the psychoes who blows through the stopsign doing 70... Patriotic duty.

One of the things they didn't ask was number of bathrooms vs. number of inhabitants. On the phone with my sister last night:

Sister: Sorry, I would have picked up, but both me and the hubby were in the bathrooms...

Me: What bliss to have two bathrooms! To never be separated from your loved ones by even a second, spending every worthwhile moment together...

I'm just saying: .5 bathrooms: fine. 1.5 bathrooms: good. 1 bathroom: Evil! Evil! Ev-ille! Perhaps I shall speak in more depth on the subject at some future time.

You are an SEDF--Sober Emotional Destructive Follower. This makes you an evil genius. You are extremely focused and difficult to distract from your tasks. With luck, you have learned to channel your energies into improving your intellect, rather than destroying the weak and unsuspecting.

Your friends may find you remote and a hard nut to crack. Few of your peers know you very well--even those you have known a long time--because you have expert control of the face you put forth to the world. You prefer to observe, calculate, discern and decide. Your decisions are final, and your desire to be right is impenetrable.

You are not to be messed with. You may explode.

Damn straight. Thanks, rikibeth and follybard! (Test here)