No dead monkeys, though

[zdashamber]

Also, I recently located a tub of dates I'd picked up a couple months ago. See, I hadn't thought there was anything to worry about with dates. Dried, full of sugar... What could possibly go wrong? Alas, opening the tub, there was a hint of the scent of a forest floor. But I wasn't about to let such tub of wonders go to waste, and lo, the first few dates were great. But then, I wondered, are these white specks crystallized sugar, or are they something less healthy? I located a date that was nearly lacking in them. And bit in, and spit out. And there in my head was Sallah: "Bad date."

Ah, John Rhys-Davies. If I'm under the weather tomorrow, I can't say you didn't warn me.