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Over the weekend, I saw a squirrel. This with one swift stroke upped the biodiversity of my neighborhood by 33%. Now our roster of wild critters is:
1. pigeons
2. crows
3. small brown twittering birds
4. squirrel.
Yay!
(What is it about pigeons? Why can't they take flight without their wings knocking together flap-flap-flap? I mean, I don't mind them too much; they've always looked very tasty to me. But their flightstyle seems so inefficient...)
One of my coworkers, many years ago, was concerned that her young daughter was deaf. On a trip back to her ancestral homeland of New Jersey, she brought her kid by a doctor's office to have her tested. They showed the kid pictures of things, asking that she say the name of the things... A snowman, a squirrel... The kid's just sitting there smiling... My coworker bawls out, "She's from California! She doesn't have any idea what those are! Show her pictures of sand or something!"
Now, we had squirrels on the Berkeley campus. And I imagined, they probably had squirrels on the campus of Stanford, the ancient enemy of both Berkeley and all that is clean and good in the world. We of Berkeley would show every year our love of cleanliness and godliness by pranking Stanford... Something I was always considering but could never be arsed to do was to get up some non-toxic spray, go down to the Stanford campus, lure squirrels to me with peanuts (or maybe crackers covered with spray cheese [God, I still can't believe that poor squirrel going after the sprayed cheese with so much gusto]), and spray the happily munching squirrels with the Godly Cal colors of blue and gold. Muahahahah! Let them try to recatch and clean those! Nature itself would be demonstrably against them! The colors of Cal would leap and clamber all over their precious mascot trees! Ha-hahahaha!
Also, today I ran across the most perfect story of squirrels and motorcycles I've ever found:
( And I read this at work, trying desperately to keep from laughing out loud, having to turn my eyes away while I held my hands over my face and cried with mirth )
1. pigeons
2. crows
3. small brown twittering birds
4. squirrel.
Yay!
(What is it about pigeons? Why can't they take flight without their wings knocking together flap-flap-flap? I mean, I don't mind them too much; they've always looked very tasty to me. But their flightstyle seems so inefficient...)
One of my coworkers, many years ago, was concerned that her young daughter was deaf. On a trip back to her ancestral homeland of New Jersey, she brought her kid by a doctor's office to have her tested. They showed the kid pictures of things, asking that she say the name of the things... A snowman, a squirrel... The kid's just sitting there smiling... My coworker bawls out, "She's from California! She doesn't have any idea what those are! Show her pictures of sand or something!"
Now, we had squirrels on the Berkeley campus. And I imagined, they probably had squirrels on the campus of Stanford, the ancient enemy of both Berkeley and all that is clean and good in the world. We of Berkeley would show every year our love of cleanliness and godliness by pranking Stanford... Something I was always considering but could never be arsed to do was to get up some non-toxic spray, go down to the Stanford campus, lure squirrels to me with peanuts (or maybe crackers covered with spray cheese [God, I still can't believe that poor squirrel going after the sprayed cheese with so much gusto]), and spray the happily munching squirrels with the Godly Cal colors of blue and gold. Muahahahah! Let them try to recatch and clean those! Nature itself would be demonstrably against them! The colors of Cal would leap and clamber all over their precious mascot trees! Ha-hahahaha!
Also, today I ran across the most perfect story of squirrels and motorcycles I've ever found:
( And I read this at work, trying desperately to keep from laughing out loud, having to turn my eyes away while I held my hands over my face and cried with mirth )