I'm glad you're calm! It would take someone coming from a really strange place to get inflamed by this, and you've always seemed pretty reasonable.

Now, as for whether women game designers and theorists will be called on as authorities with a frequency commensurate to their contributions, the IOP found that isn't the case for women physicists, and that no one realized it. I don't see a reason that would be different amongst the rpg world.

If your fear is looking patronizing, you'll have to balance that against your desire to help open up the rpg world to more equal input.